Me: I have a Dutch Baby with your name on it over here.
D: I am on my way in about 5 minutes. The toilet is holding me hostage.
Me: Do I need to send a ransom?
D: I think it's holding out for Charmin.
Me: I'll put 6 rolls in a paper bag and drop them on the corner of 274 and Porter Grade.
D: Sounds like a plan...I'm in the middle of negotiations now. I think we have an agreement.
Me: Good. Tell them I will be there at 10:00 sharp.
D: I think I can hold out until then. The ring imprint doesn't hurt yet.
D: Don't pay the ransom. I got away.
Me: Oh thank goodness! Didn't know where I was gonna come up with those kind of rolls.